am becoming possessive

until I was 15 I had a perception that all villages had huge palatial houses. Cause that’s the way my native village and surrounding 95 villages called as chettinad (located in TN) were. Only when I started touring down south I realized what am gifted with. During my 1st level in alliance francais when I had to tell abt my preferences in French I said ‘j’aime village’ and students around laughed. That time I came to know not many had experienced these kinda villages. Abt 10 days before, after 6 yrs, I visited my native place along with my frd frm chandigarh. As we entered he c’d’nt believe his own eyes. cause even when half a km away frm chettinad, one can never imagine such huge houses exist in that surrounding. Moreover its the isolated narrow single roads leading to chettinad which begets that impression. Around 8 pm when we reached that area we had to wait for somebody to ask for directions for my place. U hardly get to find ppl there. Its always calm and peaceful. Finally we spotted an old lady who had a skin complexion which almost merged with the darkness. As she was telling us the directions my attention strayed towards her accent which just sounded like lullaby. I felt so ashamed to have forgotten that peculiar accent which belongs only to chettinad (its not the native accent used in films), the accent which blazes innocence, the accent which used to be my rhetoric during my childhood. As I was abt to tell my frd (who cannot understand tamil) that I c’d vouch for that lady just for that sweet singing accent, he gave me a shock by telling ‘don’t believe her. She looks like a ghost’. From then on I made it a point not to judge ne1 by their external appearance. After sometime we reached the bus stop which is the land mark to my place. Bus stop in the sense, a very secretive bus stop which only me and ppl living around know. No sign boards, no place to sit, nothin. Usually find max of 7 to 8 ppl there and 2, 3 shops around. Faces might differ everytime but no. remained same. Ever since my childhood I had been looking at that bus stop in the same condition. Every time I crossed that area I get mad at the govt representatives of that constituency for the lack of development. Used to wonder how the farmers and working class ppl manage during emergencies. But this time it was different. The no. of ppl were more than 50. I even found a medical store there. Raised my eyebrows and said ‘wow’. When I got outta my car to get a drink, what a surprise, I c’d get a 2 litre coke bottle. C’d see that the growth in IT reflects even in small villages. Thanks to the software industry for raising the living standards of my brother men. but while I was walking towards my car carrying things I got a little pissed. Felt like the place has become conjusted. After all am a normal human being. As I was used to the previous situation I c’d’nt digest a bit of this. even with just hardly 50 ppl around it seemed like a busy market. Next day I woke up very early to see the deserted dry land the red sand in day light. I just love the fragrance of the red sand especially during rainy season when it makes love with rain water. While we were out on foot I was totally devastated when I saw an auto going thru the silent lanes in this raw village. When I say devastated its no exaggeration at all. May be autos got in for election campaigning but I c’d’nt tolerate that. Is my place getting raped by strangers? am so afraid that the extant will become extinct. Just cant believe that am becoming possessive abt a place which is common to every1



thats my frd. he wanted me to get the full view of the house in the background but i c'd'nt

the house u see is my granddads. ppl with problem of walking in sleep permitted to stay there only if coupled with problem of swimming in sleep. cause pond in front of house


1 of the palatial houses

thats my frd again. btw thats a house behind and not a museum

C - section

initially i was switchin between A and B section untill std 5. later when educational institutions became business intitutions i remember being even in J and K sections. but never once been in C section. one evening when i was sittin with my frds in medical college i got the opportunity to see this C-section. the C section am talkin abt now is different - the cesarean section. It was an amazing experience. Its been quite long time so I just vaguely remember what happened.

The time from incision to delivery was hardly 5 mins but I felt it like 5 hrs. Too many things which a common man cant even imagine happened in that 5 mins. After anesthesia was administered when the abdomen was being cleaned I was getting quite nervous cause I knew next was incision. The nurse took a very fine needle and took it towards the abdomen as if to mark the area to be cut. As I was just 19 that time it was embarrassing to look abruptly at some unknown lady’s abdomen. So had to pretend as if I was busy looking at something else. but when I had a glimpse .. ooops.. what the f..k is this. The stomach split into halves in fractions of sec when she casually moved the needle on it like drawing line with a marking pen. As I was expecting her to use a knife I was’nt prepared for this. Had to hold my hands tight seeing all that red inside. the doc immediately started incising the uterus and then using scissors he was cutting too many things. the rate of speed he was doing that c’d only make me think he dint like ne thing inside and he was cutting all that which fell in his eyes. I c’d even hear the hissing sound which u get in pipes when airlocks open up (blood whizzing in blood vessels I guess..forgot). the baby was removed thru incisions. The doc cut the placenta and casually threw it in a bowl (the way he did it looked like my cook cutting bindi both sides and throwing it in the bowl ). While the nurse was suturing incisions I became quite normal. It dint last for long. Seeing the doc holding kid upside down and swinging on air while passing it to the nurse, had to hold my hands tight 1ce again and restrained frm shouting mada f..ker. only later I came to know they r supposed to hold the kid upside down immediately after delivery. Looked like I went into another world which was red in color, made of tissues where tiny creatures were living, and came back. Also came across plumbers, tailors and cooks. ie. Outside that world lol

business brain

there was a time i was addicted to playing chess in yahoo games(and literati as well). my sis who saw me playing all the time downloaded a chess software for me to develop my skills. never 1ce i played against the computer. me coming from a business community my business brain adviced me something else. whenever i play in yahoo games i take the help of this software, make the moves in it, check the possibilies of next move and then decide whether to make my own move or follow that. my rating went up. i felt proud. said thx to my sis. she said 'whats the point in playing following a programme'. only then i decided to think whats the point. what do i gain by feeling proud to unknown ppl? according to them they lost against somebody whom they dont even know. still i dint stop taking help of programmed games. instead found a way to make them feel ashamed. while playin i w'd pick up a conversation and tell them'u cant win me'. these 4 words more than enough to give a rise in them. they w'd stop chattin,start concentratin on the game to somehow win me. they take atleast 5 mins for each move and sometimes the max 9 min 59 secs. i w'd make my moves in max 10, 20 secs. this itself w'd disapppoint and destabilize them. ppl who do not know that programmed games exist think this guy is a terror and begin squeezing their brains to teach this insolent guy a lesson. but what c'd they do against a computer? now my sis cant put that q to me cause when i made my opponent feel guilty i achieved the pride of victory. doing this did i waste my time? no, not at all. a business man is a person who achieves his target by hook or crook. when iraq war started my cousin called me early morning at 5'O'clock and told me 'we r lucky, war started'(cause we had made our moves in stock market anticipating war will defenitely happen). our policies made this soft hearted guy calculate business moves even during tragedies(like ne other businessman) so how can ne1 expect me to focus on skills for a simple game. this is a competitive world(actually competition created world). so cant say i was doing ne thing wrong. just acted the way my govt has preached its citizens in the name of policies. when u try to be straight ppl say ur not smart and u cant be a businessman. this sentence itself defines the guidelines of businessman. by playin chess that way my game standard remains same but developed business skills. nowadays i stopped playing cause too many businessmen and women into it. yes, too many started following programmed games and am not able to win them. i even told them 'this is ht of stupidity. whats the point in playing with help of softwares' and stopped playing. always have a reply to avoid being called coward. wow i gotta quote

colosseum - battle to serve

everyone has a hidden talent. when the ability is discovered a colosseum is needed to exploit it. actor looks for theatre, orator looks for stage, writer looks for publishers and a person who has all those abilities looks to enter into ploitics(that is where large no of ppl will get to know abt his talents in poetry, literature etc. so he considers that as his colosseum) the ones who are dumb but wanted to prove that they have the ability to make money also choose to become politician. ultimately electoral politics is considered as a colosseum for an individual to prove himself. occasionally economists and ppl with administrating abilities also enter politics. but when this happens, ppl consider that they are doing something out of the way since they are used to the other set of ppl.

electoral politics is the funniest and the most stupid thing i've come across in my life. imagine somebody telling u get into the colosseum and fight.. u w'd do it if its to save ur life or if ur gonna be awarded. but if the winner is gonna be asked to serve the ppl are you gonna voluntarily participate in the competition.. NEVER. so its obvious that only for their selfish motives ppl jumping into the colosseum to fight. even kids know the fact that fights and competitions happen only for gain. when very less ppl are here to serve Y DO U HAVE TO COMPETE TO SERVE.

mostly everytime the candidate in ur constituency is new to u. so how is he gonna introduce himself to u and make u vote for him in that short period of time. obviously the only option he has is to sing poetry or dance or scream or do whatever he can to attract u. at this rate we'll get only comedians, opportunists and money makers but never good administrators. the thing which am putting here is not my discovery. i know that every single person knows but am surprised how they are happily getting along with this and favouring politicians in most issues.

to increase circulation magazines have habit of giving news which ppl like. nowadays during election period i see magazines mentioning abt the candidate in a funny way. many books write openly that this person is jumping into the colosseum and that person is getting ready to conquer the opponent(ie. to serve the ppl.. wow...sounds great. .fighting & conquering to serve ppl). when magazines encourage these kinda talks, proves ppl like the battle happening for the concerned individuals gain.

am BIG

many of us w'd have heard kids screaming 'NO, am big, am BIG' when mom says 'no u cant do that, u r a kid'. but have u heard a 13 or 14 yr old screaming this. this new yr day i came across a grl (must be in her 9th or 10th std) who did something to prove she is BIG, which was equivalent to screaming like kids. at around 12:30 after wishing everyone i moved outta the banquet hall with my frd to get rid of the noises while having food. 1 plump and cute grl, who was max 5 ft tall(ie.with high heels), wearing loose denim short skirt (dint bother to notice the top cause prominent calf muscles always draw my attention whenever i see grl wearin high heels and she being plumpy 'my goodness' looked like too many things stuffed inside the loaf) walked towards us talking on the cell ph. looked like even she was trying to stay away from the party noise. as she was nearing us i c'd see her crying to somebody on ph. i initially misunderstood thinking she was slapped by her mom or dad, until her voice became audible. she was weeping and talking in a husky voice right from her heart oh baby plz try to understand i wanted to be with u but i cannot i love u so much and bla bla bla. i c'd'nt refrain myself from laughing. later she called her bro and cousins to ask for some silly thing(ultimate idea is to make them listen to her talking to her bf) which they dint know and again started crying to her bf repeating the same bla bla bla in front of them, but this time with some more toppings like sweetheart and dear. now me and my frd were rolling on the floor and laughing looking at their pathetic situation. all of them who were pretending that they were not listening to her, grabbed this opportunity and turned towards us as if to see y we were laughing so that they c'd prove to her that they were busy on something else. the best part comes after this. after they all left she wiped her tears, called other frds 1 by 1 and wished them with great laughter. from that entire scenario all i discovered was she wanted to prove to her cousins that she is'nt a kid and she is a grl who is old enough that a guy is loving her and desperately waiting for her and she is somebody who is worth it, who has all knowledge abt love and sex and who c'd join their converstaions to any extent. may be by just telling 3 words to her 'U R BIG' c'd have prevented her bro and cousins from all that embarrassment.

passion for coining words

i got my admission in an all guys arts college(ie. a decade before). what we call 'the happening thing', dint happen there. so what...i only said i got my admission in arts college but thru out attended a medical college where some of my frds, who were class mates since child hood got into. i was introduced to another world there. i still do not have answer for 1 question. untill school final we just come across students who r brilliant in their studies and not the kinda unique intellectual creative ones but the moment u step into college u find atleast a dozen students in ur class who act strange, confident, creative and already introduced to things which u w'd'nt have even heard of, at that time. do they get that quality during that holiday period? during the lectures in medical college when the prof said how many times do u expect me to repeat, within fractions of secs, the guy sitting next to me replied 'as many times untill i understand'. i was shell shocked cause had the same q been put to me that time i w'd have been lookin at the floor like a shy grl. when it came to speech many lacked confidence since no exposure at that age. then comes the ragging part. 1ce when i was waiting for my frd, i saw a grl student walkin with 2 guys towards a fresher. she opened her 1st button and said 'look at my balls'. the guy got confused. i c'd see that he was feelin so shy that he dint even have the guts to look at her face. he turned towards other 2 guys and started blinking. she said 'b4 i give u a tight slap better do it'. after so much hesitation, without even lowering his head he just took a peek. still he got a tight slap. she said i asked u to look at my eye balls and not this. the next target c'd have been me but still i dint resent cause i was already into thinkin abt her creative style. during 2nd yr some of my frds tied 1 end of the thread to a fan and the other end to a freshers d..k, in an attempt to threaten him. i dont like such dangerous games so i got pissed and even after many said its just for fun i dint feel like joining them. but when 1 heard 1 guy telling the fresher something, i c'd'nt restrain myself frm joining the fun.what he said was ' make sure u answer only the truth to all my q's and if u do not do that i swear upon my father u will never become a father in ur life'. we all know its a stupid don dialogue. but when the context is not delivered directly, it sounds innovative and creative. it sounded like ht of civilization to me. thats when i realized that i've a passion for coining words. i guess its just not me but many. when 1 guy shouted to a grl in the college auditorium 'tapti let us both produce a bastard' that was the biggest joke of the day and nobody felt it bad. proves when words coined well nothing sounds vulgar. since then i started trying to coin words like hell to become part of the civilized world. when i was cajoling a grl who dint respond i wrote a letter to her saying 'i know that love is blind but never knew its deaf and dumb too'. untill this moment i do not know if that sentence has a meaning but it sounded good so i put it there. still that shy grl has'nt spoken to me but she turns around and looks at me untill i vanish frm the scene. may be even she does'nt know the meaning but just enjoyed the coin.

mix

after imperialism, colonialism and globalization there is no race without a mix in it(thats wat i feel...but there r exceptions in nething). the word 'mix' is getting common nowadays and even ppl seem to like it a lot. i happened to stay in rome airport for 1 full day when my flight got delayed. since its a major transit point i came across almost all kinds of ppl, rite frm the richest american to the poorest african with just a safron cloth wrapped aroung her. inbetween white and black there r many grey shades in colors. but the colors between white and black in human r more interesting. may be cause there is a story designed behind all these shades. after getting used to these stories a little bit its become my habit to guess the origin and mix by just looking at the ppl. mostly am wrong but i have no idea of givin up this game. some mixes r unbelievable. especially in countries like belize in central america (which was a british colony until 1981), name the mix u can find there. nowadays its become a fashion to say 'have u seen chinese american mix......ohhhhhhh its amazing, i've seen a punjabi chinese..ohh (screams) the kid looks so cute with clear beautiful skin and sharp features'. i think in a few days we might even find mixes like burgandy with maroon border or golden jari like these kanchipuram silk sarees, or something like white with black putta(black dots) like dalmation. am already ready waiting for that exitement and fun. who knows ...i might also contribute a unique color when i get married. many consider this as a healthy development but unless racists realize that they r not what they think they r and there is a mix somewhere in between there is no end to this racism drama